Don't Be Down About Downsizing

Sorry for the delay today. Even organizers need to reorganize sometimes, and I was taking my own advice, getting my beach kit sorted and safely stored with folding chairs in the back of my car. Just in time, too.

What I'm thinking about now is downsizing. It's such a negative word and I don't enjoy the vibe it gives off. Whether you're saving money by getting into a more manageable space or moving into a senior community, it's really important to make change positive. Every time we jump into an unknown circumstance, we are proving to ourselves how strong we are and how capable we are of growing. And even without realizing it, we never stop.

When the time comes to make a major change such as a big move, a lot of emotional issues pop up. This is especially true for elders who may have lived in the same home for decades. When you raise a family in a space, the process can become painful and difficult if you don't let go a little.

When my husband and I bought our last house, we knew a family of seven children had grown up there. Our daughter's room had once sheltered three little girls, all in various stages of dollies and lip gloss and bickering. The thought was so charming and made me love it even more. It was a grand house, with lots of room to grow. But after a few years, we realized our family wasn't going to grow any larger, and five bedrooms then seemed too much. That big home deserved a big family. So we decided to downsize.

Before we sold last summer, we had some updating to do. There was wallpaper in the upstairs hallway, probably 10 to 15 years old, but in great shape and so neutral I'd barely ever noticed it. When we tore it down to paint, we found the legacy of the family before us: Each of the children had signed the walls -- names, ages, little sayings with dates. Reading all their notes made me feel good. I even let Maura (she was 5 then) sign her name and date it. She became part of the history of the house and her time there was happy and full of fun. (How could it not have been ... I let her write on the wall with marker! Unheard of!) We were moving into a house we were thrilled about and passing the old home on to a family that could use every inch of space. It would continue to be loved, the legacy would continue.

Sometimes we choose change and sometimes we are pushed by forces beyond our control into change. But even difficult circumstances can work out for the best, as long as you see positive progress in yourself. The most important thing to remember is that you are not your stuff, it will never define you or the life you've lived. You carry your most precious cargo in your mind, in your heart. Your memories are not really sealed in the walls.

Even if someone, someday, paints over them all.

LT